This practice of focused touching borrows many of the principles of mindfulness and encourages you to let go of judgment and focus on experience and sensation. From there, you can slowly introduce more elements of sexuality - and finally have sex. Sensate focus begins with a ban on kissing and genital touching so that both partners can focus on non-sexual sensations. "When someone is relaxed, they are more able to give and receive pleasure," says Lisa Hochberger, LSMW, a sex therapist at Wise Therapy in New York City. Practicing sensate focus allows you and your partner to be present with each other and focus on touching and relaxation, without the pressure of turning each other on. It was first developed by sex therapy research team Masters and Johnson in 1970 and has since become a widely-recommended practice among sex therapists. Sensate focus is a series of touching exercises aimed at deepening intimacy between partners.
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